Continued from July 2022 post:
Having said this, I’m not trying to write about lack of my confidence nor frustration of not being understood/appreciated. I have nothing to complain on this front as I’m aware that I’m doing this all for myself at the end of the day.
It’s just that, it’s a bit difficult to explain but, process of making things requires sensitiveness and the sensitiveness makes me vulnerable/emotional and extremely self critical. It is also far from sociable process and I have to deal with all these emotions alone. Nello was alone by circumstances as well as by his destiny as an artist and he had to deal with overwhelming emotions for his grandfather and Patrasch by drawing them. Alone. It looked as if he exhausted his life by doing so, ending up dying on Xmas day.
The recent lock down periods have brought me an unique opportunity to focus on creative process like when I was making hats inly for a few private customers and I fully enjoyed that. However this period has also brought me to a place where I have to deal with emotional vulnerability on my own with a hope of ending up with a piece I love like a light at the end of a dark tunnel. It is no exaggeration to be honest. And it is indeed hard to maintain energy level and strike a balance with ‘positive entrepreneurial attitude’ like showing up on Instagram daily.
That’s where I am right now.
